From Season 4, Episode 3 "The Rager"

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES--"The Rager"--Image: TVD403B_0286b--Pictured: Claire Holt as Rebekah--Photo: Bob Mahoney/ The CW--©2012 The CW Network. All Rights Reserved.
[SPOILER ALERT: Content from episode 3 below. Proceed with caution.]
“The Vampire Diaries” filled last night’s episode with humor, action and even more twists. Elena’s change into a vampire provided a slew of amusing quotes while Damon, of course, was not short of quips. Here are nine quotable moments from episode 3.
- “Good day for a midlife crisis…a hundred and sixty-four years, I’d say you’re due.” — Damon to Stefan as he tinkers with a motorcycle.
- Elena: “New house, huh? Did your brother finally kick you out?”
Rebekah: “He didn’t kick me out. I left.”
Elena: “So you left the only person on Earth who actually likes you?”
Rebekah: “Well your boyfriend liked me once. Actually a lot more than once.”
- Meredith: “Tell me that is not a bomb.”
Damon: “Okay, it’s a kitten, an adorable, exploding kitten.”
- “You’re good at this, you know that? You saved my vampire life and now you’re saving her’s. You should write a book, go on The View…” — Caroline to Stefan
- “I don’t want to go home. I want to take the white oak stake and kill her. That’s how mad I am. She made me murderous.” — Elena
- As Damon and Klaus corner the vampire hunter. Damon: “Well, you know, maybe you can cue me in on this greater evil because I fought this guy and there’s nothing more evil than that.”
Klaus: “Yeah, truth be told, I’m as evil as it gets.”
- “And for future reference, one voice mail is just as effective as nine.” — Klaus to Stefan
- Jeremy: “See, I told you I could be a badass.”
Damon: “Shh, badasses don’t say that.”
- Elena: “Why am I thinking of you?”
Hallucinatory Damon: “Because you’re a vampire now, and part of you knows you’re a lot more like me than you are like him.”— Becca Ritchie