Picking up right where we left off, Rebecca confronts Greg at the airport as he prepares to hop on a plane across the country (to the ATL!!) without so much as a peep. Oh, what a sad day indeed. Let’s see how Rebecca unraveled shall we?
Greg explains to Rebecca that he couldn’t tell her he was leaving because he couldn’t say goodbye. Like it was the not the most obvious thing, Rebecca realizes that Greg did actually love her. Greg admits his love for Rebecca, however says that he’s choosing to move forward with his life (tear) because at the end of the day, though he loved her, what they had was a s**t show of a relationship. He explains this through song … of course. After his dysfunctional serenade to Rebecca, he goes up the escalator leaving Rebecca standing alone in the airport. Oh Greg, we’ll miss you.
Hoping to die, Rebecca sulks in bed. Paula by her side, she contemplates who she is without Josh and Greg, and unfortunately she doesn’t know. Paula tells Rebecca to just be herself. Of course Rebecca, squeamish at that idea, tells Paula she just doesn’t don’t know what it’s like to be at a crossroads and not know what to do next…nope not at all, aside from the fact that Paula has had 40 years of life experience, she’s also secretly pregnant, and starting law school any day now.
Now sulking alone in her apartment, Rebecca starts hallucinating – seeing both Josh and Greg as dream ghost, or as they prefer it “memory spirits”. They are there to haunt her, and the perfect way to haunt your Crazy Ex-GF is to do a duet tap dance and song highlighting how they ‘tapped that ass all over this house’. Hilarious. Brilliant. Crazy.
Attempting to scorch them out of her brain, Rebecca takes Greg’s sweater and Josh’s teddy bear, throws them in the sink and sets them ablaze. This appears to be a BAD MOVE as she turns up on Heather’s doorstep with a charred face and sirens in the background. Heather’s parents agree to let Rebecca stay (Heather has parents?), and they welcome her by making her 2AM pancakes.
You would think that it couldn’t get any worse, but you’d be wrong. Rebecca, dressed in Heather’s mom’s drab ‘businesswoman clothes’, arrives to work as her coworkers are huddled around a computer listening to a Youtube audio clip titled ‘Crazy Lady 911 call,’ in which Rebecca says her full name. As the call goes on, it becomes evident that Rebecca’s cry for help went viral, as she not only mentions her desperation over her love triangle with Josh and Greg but the fact that she had to poop outside on her shoe.
Trying to keep face, Rebecca decides to go to her meeting with a company they are representing, Miss Douche. And OH EM Gee, who better to represent Miss Douche other than Yael Grobglas (it’s Petra for all my Jane the Virgin fans!). Grobglas (who cares what her character’s name is) explains how Miss Douche is going to re-brand, and instead of a cartoon on the box, they will have a real life ‘trendy woman’ representing Miss Douche. This gives Rebecca an idea to re-brand herself. She will be the next Miss Douche and show everyone she is okay (even though we all know that she’s not)! In the meantime, she passes her case representing Miss Douche over to Paula to work on, even though she’s not a lawyer.
The Big Pill
With the help of Heather’s parents (she’s still staying with them), Rebecca gives herself a makeover slightly representing a bohemian blonde bimbo – she’s made up and extensioned out. Impressing those at work with her ‘new look’, she walks down the street with confidence and runs into Josh. Josh doesn’t recognize her at first and is taken aback by her new look. She lets him know that she’s doing well and that her new look is in part because of a contest she has entered. Josh asks if it’s a costume contest and if that is why she is wearing a funny costume (ouch).
No, no sweet idiot Josh, that is her makeover. You see the pity in Josh’s eyes and the hurt in Rebecca’s as he tells her whatever she’s going through everything will be fine, and he awkwardly walks away. (OUCH)
A finalist in the Miss Douche competition (after paying some people off), Rebecca is not refusing to get off of Heather’s couch and finish what she’s started. With Heather’s help, she is forced to get dressed and get up on that Douche stage.
First question, “who are you Rebecca Bunch?”. After a very long pause, Rebecca makes a speech basically confirming that she doesn’t know who she is anymore and that she is definitely not okay; that Miss Douche should be someone awesome, like her friend Heather. She storms off stage and the spotlight literally follows.
Though embarrassed Rebecca comes to grips with that fact that she just needs to pick herself up, get off of Heather’s parent’s couch, and be herself. Heather agrees and says that they need to be roommates, so she can help her with those decisions (which she will be able to afford, as she surprisingly was selected as the new Miss Douche, awarded $10,000, and a lifetime supply of douches)!
Despite not having Rebecca’s help, Paula does a great job representing Miss Douche by herself. An official congratulates Paula and tells her she will make an amazing lawyer. Realizing that being a lawyer is her calling, Paula decides to take the option, that wasn’t an option, and she gets an abortion.
Rebecca decides that she is no longer letting outside relationships define her and, to get rid of the haunting of Josh and Greg, she moves out of her place. She tells imaginary Greg goodbye and closes the door.
As Heather and Rebecca sit in a food court discussing where they will move next, Rebecca spots who she thinks is Valencia eating a donut… OMG… it’s Valencia, eating a donut. Yes, CARBS! It appears Rebecca wasn’t the only one taking her break up with Josh hard.
You guys, did Crazy Ex-Girlfriend just make an epic feminist shift? Is Crazy Ex-GF not about a crazy woman chasing a man (or men) but a crazy woman finding herself? Those sneaky SOB’s. I guess we will see what’s really up on next week’s episode! Catch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend every Friday night at 9, only on Atlanta’s CW!