Welcome back! I know you have been rocking back and forth with your blankie, your thumb in your mouth and tears in your eyes, waiting for Jane the Virgin to return (just me?). Well cry no more, your favorite “accidentally inseminated Mama” is back! And last night was a mother load of an episode, and EVERYONE’S Mom decided to show up and show out!
Super Mom Jane (& Side Kick Mom Xio)
First up, the one and only Super Mom Jane. Per usual Jane attempts to do it all, with her mom, Xio, right by her side (whether she’s helping or NOT). In addition to being a student teacher and trying to overturn the well-known advantage college Athlete’s receive (which Jane counters by challenging a star basketball player nickname McBasket to a hoop-off), Jane also can’t get baby Matello to take his cute butt to sleep!
Abuela, who I like to refer to as Old School Abuela, advises that the best way to get Mateo to sleep is to let him cry! Leave the baby be? We know Jane can’t do that.
Dada DaDUHH ! If there wasn’t enough going on in flies Xiomana, helper of nothing. On a brisk walk to the Taco Truck to avoid Rogelio’s mother, Lilliana (we’ll get to her later), Xio see’s a familiar face; a face Jane now only see’s in her dreams, Michael. But alas, this is where I let out my girly squeal of horror, Michael was not alone, but with some smaller tight pony-tailed version of Jane #ouch. Xio immediately about-faces and heads back home, wasting no time telling Jane what she saw – because Jane’s not going through enough? Btw, she’s also holding someone else’s secret (but not for long).
Glam-ma, Oh Glam-ma
Who’s secret you may ask? Well, Rogelio’s mother, Lilliana (aka Glam-ma) also makes an appearance in this episode. Instead of being her rude harsh diva self, she’s sappy (sad/happy), and of course still a diva. Everyone of course notices, however she confides in Jane that her husband (and Rogelio’s father) of 47 years is leaving her… for a MAN! Okay, so if you saw the previews for the episode this wasn’t a surprise. Rogelio, who finds out from Xio (because Jane can’t keep a secret), decides to show his support to his mother, and throws a gay dinner with two random gay strangers. Lilliana, turns emotional over dinner as Rogelio’s support of his gay father would only solidify her long time husband’s plan to leave her in the dust #doubleouche. But you know what you didn’t see coming? Rogelio’s father shows up at the door, invited by Rogelio, and reveals that Lilliana has known he was gay for the last 40 years! I don’t have time for Lilliana’s lies #next
Hook, Line and Sinker
Can you guess what Mama this section is about? No? She has an Eye-patch, hook for a hand? Oh yes, Petra’s evil murderous mother, Magda. Last we saw Petra, she was getting handcuffed, pregnant belly and all, for the murder of her estranged husband’s hinge man. Funny enough, she didn’t kill him, however made the mistake of helping her mother, hide the body and NOT report her mother before her mother reported her. We know who’s not getting a mothers day card this year.
Back to the present, it appeared that Petra had two choices, plead guilty and do 15 years to life, or take a plea deal and do 18 months, which isn’t that bad, but probably feels like a hell of a long time for a murder you didn’t commit. Supporting his baby mama, Rafael is right by Petra’s side (hints why I love him). In the tinder moments of cooking her dinner in the hotel kitchen, he is playing with the knives, said to be the murder weapon on the case. Eureka! The knives weren’t bought until AFTER hinge man dude was already dead, which places the blame BACK on Magda. She is then taken away in handcuffs.
Putting Babies to Bed
This is a job that doesn’t escape any mother’s list, even in the most unconventional of ways – Back to Jane: Still trying everything to put Mateo to bed, she decides to pick him up while Facebook trolling on Michael’s possible new girlfriend. Whose idea was that? Xio’s of course. And whose little baby foot accidentally hit the ‘Send Friend Request Botton’ on said possible girlfriend? You guessed it. Mateo. The horror that transcended through my body at the moment I’m sure had nothing on Jane’s. Well you’re thinking, maybe Mini Jane looking girl didn’t see the friend request before Jane took it back? Wrong. Confirmed by Michael himself at Jane’s doorstep, Mini Jane Girl is Michael’s new girlfriend, who did see the friend request. Michael comes to Jane’s door to tell her that he wants nothing more than to move on from her. #tripleouch
Can dead mothers put their children to bed? As it turns out Louisa’s mother won’t be singing her a lullaby any time soon. Michael and Detective Barnett (country detective lady), do some more digging into Louisa’s mother who was thought to be dead, then thought to be secret crime boss Mooter, now, after some more investigating and DNA evidence, dead again. Louisa was clearly torn up not to be able to reunite with her long dead mother, however not so torn up that she couldn’t take a moment to stick her tongue down Detective Barnett’s throat. After a lingering kiss, Barnett pulls away with the infamous line, “I can’t”, but I don’t know, maybe Barnett will decide to swing Louisa’s way.
So Michael and Barnett determine Louisa’s mother can’t be Mooter, but they realize the same year of Louisa’s mother’s death, the Solano family gained a new member, Rafael’s mother; who incidentally would have access to all the Solano accounts; who also decided to try and rekindle her relationship with her son who she abandoned for 10 million dollars. Interesting timing right? Well dead mothers can’t put children to bed, but crime boss mom’s can! Which was proven as Rafael’s mom stabs him right in the neck with a tranquillizer needle! (Not before asking about a flash-drive of course). Good night Rafael. Mama’s got you…. And it probably isn’t a good thing.
Hopefully Rafael can hold out until next week, because I barely can. Come back next week Monday Night at 8:00pm to see if Raphael survives the wrath of his Mooter (see what I did there?).