Jane the Virgin Recap — Post Pregnancy Pains

Though Mateo has left the womb, the full-fledged drama of pregnancy has yet to leave Jane’s life. Let’s take a look at what went down and how every stage took us there.

THE 1st TRIMESTER – A TOXIC SURPRISE: Oh, yes, I’m talking about Britney (of course)! Britney Spears made a well-played Pop Princess cameo that was PERFECT, but I will get back to that later.

NAUSEA  – Oh yes, I was feeling quite woozy. Since Jane’s ‘magical’ kiss last week with Michael, all Jane kept thinking was MICHAEL IS THE ONE.  I am not going to hide it or sugar code it, but I am 100% #TeamRafael because who can resist a reformed bad boy?

Credit: The CW

Credit: The CW

However, all Jane’s back and forth isn’t the only thing that left me woozy. Michael’s new country bumpkin partner, who obviously had it out for him from the start, did some digging and found out that he let Nadine go. [Nadine his old partner working with Sin Rostro]. This gets Michael in trouble with the boss and, of course, Michael assumes Rafael told which causes him to start a physical KNOCK OUT FIGHT with Rafael and leads to baby Mateo bleeding from his little baby arm! YES #TOOMUCH

Credit: The CW

Credit: The CW

THE 2nd SEMESTER – HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME: GOOD KICKSSo Abuela is still going forward with getting her green card (yay), however things got complicated with Xiomara as her sponsor. A felony on Xo’s record (dealing with a teenage boyfriend) surfaced, and threatened to derail the process. After Xo and Abuela accidentally ingested a chocolate bar laced with marijuana (which made for one hell of a laugh), everything ended up working out when the ladies threatened said ex boyfriend to come forward with his lies and clear Xo’s name.

SIDE NOTE: ABUELA SPEAKS GREAT ENGLISH IN THIS EPISODE. While high, she points out how weird the word ‘normal’ is…She’s right. LOL. 

BAD KICKSAfter much back and forth (kinda), Petra decides she’s going to marry Milos. Why? Jane and Rafael assume it’s to get to Rafael and his money (since she is pregnant with Rafael’s baby and Rafael would never want the baby around Milos). Jane being Jane, who admits to caring about Petra 2%, tries to talk her out of it. Unfortunately she marries the creep who, unknown to Petra at the time, was just using the wedding as a cover to bring in boxes of hand grenades! WHY? I DON’T KNOW! But I guess we have to wait and see what those crazy sneaky, crazy people are up to next week.

Credit: The CW

Credit: The CW 

THE 3rd SEMESTER  – SHE’S SO LUCKY: Jane, that is, because if you were alive in 1999, you would want to fan girl out just like Jane did in her fantasy and dance with Brit. Don’t act like you didn’t make up dances to Britney Spears with your best friend during slumber parties! Britney was somewhat of a spectacle for Petra’s wedding and walked around in unison with her army of mini pop minions. It was pretty awesome.

Even more awesome was Rogelio’s feud with Brittney from their former tattered friendship (that was before Rogelio was famous … if there ever was such a time). 

Credit: The CW

Credit: The CW

Credit: The CW

Credit: The CW

POST PARDUM – STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY: Also lucky? Baby Mateo because he has an amazing mother.  In doing his own snooping, which eventually leads to him getting fired, Michael discovers that Rafael actually did NOT rat him out for withholding Nadine’s involvement in the Sin Rostro investigation. He confessed this to Jane, who in turn realized that her feelings for Michael were clouding her judgment; which literally led to Mateo getting hurt.  Knowing she couldn’t let that happen again she ends things with Michael.

Oh yes, it was sad and tear filled and sad some more… but we know how these things go – I wouldn’t count him out just yet..

OH YEAH! MICHAEL IS HELD UP AT GUN POINT BY NADINE IN HIS CAR AND THAT’S THE LAST SCENE– #BOO

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