Recently, over a game of pinball at the Joystick Game Bar, I interviewed Gina and Beth Mullins, two characters from the upcoming movie “The Heat.” The movie stars Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy as an FBI Agent and a Boston police officer that team up to catch a drug lord, but don’t tell the Mullins sisters that, they think the film is all about them.
Hi ladies, do you want something to drink before we start the interview?
Beth: Yes, I want a water but in a bottle so I know that no one has spit in it.
Gina: And I want a Nutty Buddy.
Beth: Oh, and I want one of those too!
OK, we will see what we can do about that. So, welcome to Atlanta. Are you enjoying your stay here?
Gina: It’s wicked nice.
Have you done any shopping yet?
Gina: Yeah, we went to Claires Icing and we went to Hot Topic. Then we went to Forever 21. And then we went to Gucci.
Did you shop at Phipps Plaza?
Beth: Is that like that disease, like hand-foot-mouth disease?
Gina: Didn’t you get that Braxton Hicks?
Beth: Yeah, I am getting that too.
Gina: Yeah, you know what that is? It’s when you are getting your baby before you are getting your baby. You know, when your baby shows up before it’s supposed to and it’s a real pain in the ass.
Beth: Yeah, like a ghost baby. When it’s a Braxton Hicks baby it’s just a ghost baby.
So, I take it you are from Boston? Am I guessing right?
Gina: Yeah, I’m from Boston but you know, we went to Phipps Plaza and people were looking at us like we didn’t belong there, which I didn’t think was very nice. And then I realized that Beth was walking around the mall without a shirt, only a bra. And I was like, you know what, they gotta point.
I mean, they do sort of have a dress code there.
Gina: Yeah, this is a civilized society, you know what I mean?
Beth: Ya gotta were a tierra.
Gina: No, you gotta wear like shirt and shoes to go there. No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Beth: Like Rhett Butler.
So you are up on the history of the South?
Beth: Well, I did see that movie.
What movie was that?
Beth: You know, that Scarlett O’Hara one!
Gina: Yeah, we went to her house. Have you ever been to Boston?
Yes, Yes, I have.
Gina: Did you like it there?
Yes, I did. Though I must say I stayed around the Cambridge area.
Gina: Ok, yeah, that’s where all the smart people are.
Beth: Yeah, and the bombers.
Gina: Yeah, smart people and bombers live in the Cambridge area because that’s where MIT and Harvard are.
Yeah, I stayed right across the street from Harvard.
Beth: Oh, at the St. Charles Hotel. So you couldn’t get into a Holiday Inn? They wouldn’t take you?
I just remember that George Washington slept there.
Beth: Oh, so you know George Washington?
Gina: Oh, that’s really mean, Beth. You are saying that this guy is almost as old as George Washington.
Beth: George Washington is like a hundred years old right?
Gina: I think he’s like a hundred and ten.
Beth: Well, I think he’s a hundred because he is on the hundred dollar bill.
Gina: I don’t think that is him. That’s Benjamin Franklin. That’s why they call it a Benjamin. It’s all about the Benjamin’s.
Beth: That’s not why they call it that. They call it a Benjamin because of Ben Affleck.
So, what do you do in Boston?
Gina: Well, Beth works at CVS.
Beth: Let me correct you please. I got fired from CVS. But now I work at another CVS but it’s different from the one that I got fired at.
Gina: Yeah, she got fired from stealing from that CVS. And then she went to another CVS, applied for the job and told them I was fired from stealing from at CVS. And they were like, we don’t like those people at that other CVS, so you are hired.
So what are you going to do while here in Atlanta?
Beth: We are going to Dad’s Garage to see funny people do funny stuff.
Gina: Yeah and last night we were at some bar where they made us take shots off the body of a twenty-one year old boy.
Beth: Which is awesome, because I look like I am twenty but I’m not.
Gina: Well, yeah but if you took the number twenty, doubled it then added 15, you would get her age.
Beth: No, 15 is the number of kids I have.
Gina: No, she doesn’t have 15 kids. She just looks like a person that had 15 kids.
Beth: Well, I do have a C-section scar that looks a lot like the Boston Red Sox logo.
Wow, way to support your team!
Beth: Yeah, and I have a mole on my left cheek that is in the shape of the baseball player, David Ortiz.
So, your Boston Red Sox fans. How about the Patriots?
Gina: Yeah, I am a huge Patriots fan.
So you’re a fan of Tom Brady?
Gina: How did you read my mind to ask me that question? You know, I love Tom Brady more than anything. In fact, someone asked me a minute ago, if you went to heaven, what would God say to you? And I said, God would say, welcome to Heaven Mrs. Tom Brady. Your husband, Tom Brady is waiting for you in the other room.
Once I was at an airport and Tom Brady was at the same airport, which is weird, because he is wicked rich and is famous and stuff, so he doesn’t have to go to airports. And we were in line at security, and there was a backlog, so I got to stare at his butt for like five minutes. So, that was the best day of my life.
So, you met him and your in a relationship with him?
Gina: Well, he still needs to tell Gisele about us, which I totally understand and respect that.
So when is the wedding?
Gina: We haven’t set a date, but we know it going to be at Turks and Caicos. Or maybe at Disney World. We haven’t decided yet.
Beth: I told you already, if you have it in the Middle East I’m not going.
Gina: Do you like Tom Brady?
Sure, I love Tom Brady but I don’t want to marry him.
Beth: Are you a Patriot fan?
No, I am an Atlanta Falcons fan.
Gina: But you still know that the Patriots have Tom Brady, right?
Beth: What do the Falcons play?
They are a football team.
Gina: Who’s your best player?
Matt Ryan, he’s our quarterback.
Beth: slept with a guy named Matt Ryan.
Gina: Yeah, but everyone has slept with a guy named Matt Ryan. That’s a pretty common name.
I mean, Matt Ryan is a pretty good looking guy.
Gina: But he’s no Tom Brady.
Gina: Because nobody is better looking than Tom Brady. In fact, all men love Tom Brady and some of them don’t like men. Even men that aren’t gay, love Tom Brady. It’s just one of those things.
Beth: Yeah, I would have to see a picture of Matt Ryan before I could say anything about him.
Gina: So have you seen the movie that we are in called “The Heat?”
I have. It’s very funny. In fact, I was laughing so hard at one point I couldn’t breathe.
Gina: Oh, that’s so nice. That’s what we thought when we saw it. We were worried about it because we thought it would be really good in the parts that we are in but maybe the rest of the movie would stink. Kind of like when you get a sandwich and you don’t like the bread, so you just eat the middle of the sandwich. But it turns out that this whole sandwich is delicious.
Beth: Yeah, those two girls were wicked funny.
Gina: You mean you and me?
Gina: But what about those other two girls?
Beth: I didn’t understand why they were in it. I mean, it’s our movie. Why did they have to be in it?
Gina: You mean Sandra and Melissa?
Beth: Yeah, “Speed” and “Bridesmaids” Yeah, they were OK.
Gina: Yeah, they were really good. They have great chemistry on the screen.
Beth: But they never did it together in the movie, which I thought was going to happen.
Gina: Yeah, there weren’t lesbians. Though, they did dress like them, so at first we thought they might be. But then they weren’t.
Well, on that note. Have a great time in Atlanta.
Gina: Thanks, we love it here.
Beth: But why isn’t it under water here?
Atlanta? I think you are talking about Atlantis?
Beth: No, I’m pretty sure that Atlanta is supposed to be underwater.
Um, maybe good drainage.
Beth: Good, because I didn’t bring my bathing suit.
OK, on that note, thank you very much.
Gina: Thanks for having us.
Beth: And tell everyone to go see our movie. It’s wicked funny.
“The Heat” starring Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, Jessica Chaffin (Gina Mullins) and Jamie Denbo (Beth Mullins) opens nationwide on Friday, June 28th.