Here are some of this week’s biggest stories in three sentences or less:
Taylor Swift Disses Tina Fey, Amy Poehler— Taylor Swift can’t take a joke, not even when it’s coming from two of the funniest women in entertainment. In a recent magazine interview, Swift responds to the harmless joke made by Fey, Poehler at the Golden Globes by saying, “You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.'” When did Swift become our generation’s Gloria Steinem?
Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth Break Off Engagement?— Young love can be difficult, especially when your fiancé is caught in the back seat of a car with another woman. After pictures surfaced of Hemsworth and actress January Jones together, Cyrus’ engagement ring went missing from her finger. She later explained on Twitter that the ring needed resized…denial happens in all forms.
Lil Wayne Suffers a Seizure— On Friday night, rapper Lil Wayne was rushed to the hospital after having a seizure. According to TMZ, Wayne’s taste for sizzurp triggered the seizure. What he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in cough syrup.
Hackers Post Celebrity Credit Reports Online— Hackers gained unauthorized access to celebrity credit reports. The victims include Hillary Clinton, Mel Gibson, Britney Spears and a slew of other well-known celebrities and politicians. While the FBI continue to investigate, the hackers announced plans to shut down their operation on Saturday. Celebrities can never catch a break.
Shake-Ups at the View— After 16 years, Comedian Joy Behar is leaving “The View.” And while reports surfaced that conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck was leaving too, Barbara Walters denied the reports. Still, the departure of Behar and possibly of Hasselbeck might make the show tolerable to watch, but then again, whom am I kidding?
Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough Split— The “American Idol” host and “Safe Haven” actress have split after 2+ years together. I guess Hough was tired of watching Seacrest stare at himself in the mirror for countless hours.
Emma Watson Puts an End to “50 Shades” Rumor— The “Harry Potter” actress wasted no time shutting down rumors that she is set to play the lead in the “50 Shades of Grey” adaptation. One lucrative film series must be enough for the burgeoning actress.
Holly Madison Names Her Baby Girl…— On the hit reality show, “The Girls Next Door,” Madison struck me as the most normal of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. However, this week the former playmate named her new baby girl Rainbow Aurora Rotella. We all get it wrong sometimes.
“Oz The Great and Powerful” Sequel— To date, “Oz the Great and Powerful” is this year’s highest grossing movie, so moving forward with a sequel is a no brainer. Let’s just hope they recast Mila Kunis’ character and ask James Franco to tone down the smarminess.
Justin Timberlake vs. Kanye West— At a London concert, West dissed Timberlake’s new song, “Suit & Tie.” During his guest appearance on “Saturday Night Live,” Timberlake changed a lyric in his song to say, “My hit’s so sick, got rappers acting dramatic.” C’mon guys, there’s enough of Jay-Z to go around.