[SPOILER ALERT: Content from episode 16 below. Proceed with caution.]
A “Star Wars” and “Lord of the Rings” wedding brought as many comical moments as it should. And with the help of George Tucker’s litigation “monster,” the quotes just kept on coming. Here are nine quotable moments.
- “Wanda asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, not her maid of honor, but it’s still cool. I just hope she doesn’t make me walk Tom’s hamster down the aisle. Did you know it’s the flower girl?” Tansy to George
- Mayor of Filmore: “Shoppers spend more when there’s a view. That’s a proven fact.”
Lavon: “I’m sorry, have we changed the definition of ‘proven fact’ to crap you made up?”
- Tom Long: “I want to please Wanda. Be my sex Yoda.”
Wade: “No, no, I won’t be your sex Yoda. Just rent a Ryan Gosling movie. Do what he does.”
- Dale, Lemon’s former second-grade classmate: “Tell me, do you still eat paste?”
Lemon: “Um, I only ate paste that one time. Laurie dared me to, so…”
Dale: “Well that was an important moment for me as a paste-eater.”
- “Okay, I’ll see you soon…when I watch you through your window!” Dale, Lemon’s former second-grade classmate.
- “What is it with women in this town and Sal the shrimp guy?” — Zoe
- “You were like Tom Cruise in ‘A Few Good Men’ meets Tom Cruise in ‘The Firm’ meets Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch.” — Lavon to George.
- Lavon: “I like when you objected to McGreevy.”
George: “Just because I didn’t like the way he was looking at me!”
- Lemon: “I did go to the wedding with my true companion.”
Annabeth: “Me? Are you sure? Not Dale?”
Lemon: “That is not funny. He could have carved me up in a million pieces.”
Annabeth: “Well at least he would have enough paste to put you back together.”
— Becca Ritchie