The Wendell Chainsaw Massacre

What’s more frightening than fear itself? Me holding a chainsaw with a flesh apron around my waist, of course.

I became part of the “fear world” the other night at Netherworld Haunted House, and I will say that it was one of the most memorable experiences that I have had yet.

Ben Armstrong (Netherworld, Co-Owner) welcomed me with open arms and a trip to a faulty electric chair that was a requirement for me to join the “monster club.” Once the volts passed through to get me into the monster mood, we headed to the makeup room. One word for that–awesome. Seeing haunted houses alone are great fun, but exploring the inner workings of one of the nation’s largest? Just ghastly, darling. Ben and I decided that the role that truly fit me was a “crazy chainsaw hick.” After about thirty minutes of a ghoulish new makeover, I will say that I think I pulled it off pretty well. Who knew a flesh-made skin mask and dirty teeth would be the new look this fall?

Wendell the Crazy Chainsaw Hick

Photo by David A. Cruickshanks

I learned how to properly operate a chainsaw too. I never knew that running after people and watching them scream for dear life was part of the instructions! But it was glorious. We went to various spots throughout the haunted house, and I terrified ALL of the people. MUAHAHAHA! But, then there was one room that I was terrified of myself: the aquatic room. I have a phobia of fish. Seeing the shooting eels and the over-sized fish head that jutted out as you passed through, really set me back. But I had people to scare, and I didn’t let it deter me!

Then the night was over, as quickly as it began. I was back to normal. Makeup off. Fleshy faces gone. I was back to Wendell. But it was okay, because I was a monster…a true monster. This experience gave me a true appreciation and love for the “fear world,” one that I never knew I had.

Well, time for my blood-tini and werewolf eyes! What? I didn’t say I left the monster club, did I?

–Wendell Scott

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